5:37

The clock’s numbers spoke to my soft, half-waking soul this morning. Its wisdom transcended central standard time, but the meaning is lost to me now. Maybe it was the key to seeing God or finding my soulmate, secret instructions from sleep angels, their words bright green numbers. But the whipping sands of logic wore the magic away. My life needs irrationality, it thirsts for it, but the brain snatches the bottle; the mother scolds my play. “Aren’t there dishes to wash and lawns that need mowing?” I had a mother and she died; it is time for this one to rest, too. Let the monsters run, the beautiful beasts with snowy wings and trumpets that blast the sky blue.

If a zombie can do it

Why do people walk on the road when there’s a perfectly good sidewalk three yards away? Their eyes droop as they stumble forward. Their lips drool. Perhaps they’re zombies. I once had a zombie nibble my brain. She was a former girlfriend who mistook the act for foreplay. I gently told her I had a headache, which I did by that point with half my frontal lobe devoured. The point is, not even she walked on the road. She kept to the sidewalks like a respectful citizen. A neighbor dog bit off her foot and she shattered an arm while playing hopscotch on a chalky board, which was avoidable, but a little mindlessness is expected; she’s a zombie.

At 39

I don’t feel different than I did when I was 24.

Not much, anyway.

 

My jets have cooled. The constant pining

for romantic love and career laurels

have transformed into a nice dream,

something to look forward to:

a view of Venice that one anticipates

while strolling through a spring field.

 

I don’t always feel this way.

I have fears.

A Katrina could storm through any of our lives,

upending job, home and abilities.

 

That’s where faith comes in,

knowing that below the topsoil of our lives

run deeper waters,

an ancient spirit

with no need for riches or stability,

something unstoppable.

 

I have been knocked down

and I stood up again,

that’s what I have now,

that is my greatest resource.

Everything else is candy.